i heart learning

i heart learning

Friday, October 28, 2011

lite brite man

i consider myself to be a city slicker. I can ipod and balance on the metro handsfree if there aren't any seats left as good as the rest of them. but the fact i just used the term 'city slicker' may prove that i still have some country bumpkin in me after all. real addicts don't call themselves addicts; real rich people never call themselves rich - and real city slickers certainly don't call themselves city slickers.

today i learned a trick that any ol country mouse might learn on their first day to the big city.

here goes:

You actually have the push the crosswalk button if you want the crosswalk lite-brite (not a typo, father) man to appear so you can cross the street.


not at every light. but certainly the one at the corner of landsdowne and st. catherine.

Just yesterday I waited there for two full rounds of red lights before ho-humming in frustration then checking for cops and jayrunning to the other side, and I told Nelson so as we approached that very light this evening. Less than a millisecond later we watched as a girl pulls her pointer finger from her jacket pocket to push the crosswalk button in slow motion.



well whaddya know? i thought those big round buttons were just for people who liked to smear their DNA around.

nelson says he needs to start writing down the things i say so he can forever reread how blonde i sometimes can be.

catnip crazy part 2



someone call INTERVENTION CATADA

Thursday, October 27, 2011

catnip crazy

many celebrities have videos when they are messed up.
everyone's doing it.
hasselhoff has his burger video - audrina's mom has her TMZ shenanigans - courtney love has any interview she has ever done on camera.

here is stella's.


nelson and i had the brilliant plan up upping her catnip intake when we discovered she is portlier than we thought. 14 pounds portlier. i thought she was 10. healthy weight is 8. on a catnip diet she must go.

i know catnip is like reefer madness for cats - but i also know it gets them more active. And more active = maybe she will drop a few pounds. so let the games begin.

after a screaming and serious floor licking session, nelson had me read up on catnip to make sure we don't give her too much and send her into a permanent world where she sees imaginary dogs serving her breakfast and her food talks to her.

and i discovered some very interesting things.

first and foremost. certain humans eat catnip themselves. they make it in tea or use it as a garnish for their salads. don't ask me who these humans are - probably the same ones who eat dog biscuits because they taste like bacon - but nevertheless there are people out there who are just as into the nip as stella is. apparently it gives a calming effect.

i have to admit i am curious to know if catnip tea is any good...but there is no way in hell i would tell you if i drank it.

it is also part of the mint family


AND - the question we wanted answered...cats cannot OD on the stuff. they know when they have had enough and won't continue to eat it. yay! because i want to watch miss bijou eat it everyday. she's a real fun time all messed up.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

costly couch

i confess i learned this yesterday and not today - but this is my blog and I can break any nonsensical rule i want.

people in NYC sometimes rent out their couches to tenants.
i repeat - their couches. couches in the middle of their living space sans 4 walls or a door.

imagine renting a couch like roseanne's?


someone get me some penaten creme in a tin can pronto! And be sure to equip my best friends Mr. Ventolin, Miss eyedrop and Nanny nosespray - tonights gonna be an itchy snot fest and the poor son of a gun who rented the couch is invited.

Ah well, at least you'd have that big ol' afghan to snuggle up with.


i wonder what determines the monthly cost of a couch in the big city?
texture?
color?
newness level?

I NEED to crawl out of this rock i live under and visit NYC to see this silliness for myself.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

windsor what

I thought Windsor was a place in ontario.
and it is.

but it is also prince william and harry's last name. And now Kates name too.

i had no idea - but before you cast your 'you're a moron' stones...let it be known that nelson and amelia did not know either.

i also learned that chef boyardee's first name was hector.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

breakspolsion

'yayayay! I will have hard boiled eggs for breakfast!'

That was my inner dialogue when i opened the fridge today and saw already made hard boiled eggs, peeled shell and all. Nelson Sr. had given them to us when he gave us his fridge contents before gallavanting off to europe. we also inherited olives, canteloupe and cake. I love when people up and go to europe.

So I opened the ever so fresh ziplock seal and put my eggy on a plate-y.

then popped it in the microwave, cleverly putting siran wrap over it in case it sprinkled egg on the microwave walls. i just had it cleaned you see, and was trying to keep it that way.

BOOOOOOOOOOOM SNAP CRACKLE POPPPITY POPPOP BOOM.

It was not the sound of bombs over baghdad.


It was the sound of eggy breaking its siran wrap barrier and disintigrating into a million pieces....like the cowboy kid in charlie and the chocolate factory when he was being resized.

This is your brain on drugs, kids.

Nelson seemed to have known this 'you don't put eggs in the microwave' rule, but it would have been a lot more useful to me had he shared his egg knowledge sooner.

I learned that eggs cannot go in the microwave...unless you are mcdonalds, of course. they seem to have their mc-microwaved egg disk breakfast down pat.

It took 14 minutes to clean.