i heart learning

i heart learning

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

no lifetime

Today was just another day I wished I was American.

Usually I envy Americans' ability to just pack up and move to LA at the drop of a hat without the Canadian problem of getting a work visa...

...Or their ridiculously amazing variety of candy that us neighbors to the north will taste only if we order it online at 25.00$/lb (never kilo of course), plus tax, plus plus shipping and handling, plus customs. Pretty much the cost equivalent to driving there and picking it up yourself with an impromptu spree at Macy's to boot. Lunch at Fuddruckers included.

soapy licorice snaps! (mom i know your saliva-is-a-producin!')
who knows but it looks good
fluff in a jar

get stronger with big red
stropical sno is soooo much more than a sno-cone. there are like 5000 flavors!
cola cubes! Oh the things I would give up to have a jar beside me right now.
Take it from a candy connoisseur - Americans have the greatest candy. But researching cool candy past midnight is just about one of the worst things I could have done just now. I might have to go eat sugar cubes to curb my current intense need for sweet. But i digress.

Today I am jealous of Americans because they can all cozy up on their sofas July 13th and watch 'Roseanne's Nuts,' on the 'Lifetime' network (Roseanne Barr's new reality series about her running and living on a macadamia nut farm in Hawaii. She and I are now cyberfriends - she LOL'd one of my comments on her blog, which to me cyber-sounded like her great cackle at the end of her sitcom intro)
***fast forward this clip to hear***

I love that laugh.
Until today I had planned on doing the whole 'Lifetime' sofa thing, except for I would be on a couch naturally. Then I learned that Canadian's cannot get the 'Lifetime' channel, even with a satellite dish.

What the H-E-double hockey sticks is going on here? I could have sworn it was a basic, joe-schmoe channel that any Canadian Tom, dick, Harry or Jane got if they had a tv set and rabbit ears. Me was wrong.
no LIFETIME for you!
Sure America, I understand! keep your Los Angeles! keep your heavenly sweets! Those are treasures you might want to guard! But the LIFETIME network?! Keeping that tv station under lock and key for only those with eyes of red, white or blue seems a bit insan-o to me. I've got news for you United States - all your made-for-tv-movies where you hire an actress to re-enact Paris Hilton's life are not vault-worthy.

Nor is one of your latest Filliam & Fate - the fory of how a fince marries a fommoner.

sigh. Guess I will just have to find someone with an illegal DirectTV won't I?
Or maybe I could combine my next candy run with the premiere?
American's are so grand.


  1. Let's do a snap run!!! When is the Rosanne show on?? And what was your comment to her?? Is she reading your blog? She should!!

  2. I'm sure when her show airs you can watch it online. Or get Netflix for 9.99 a month and watch all the shows the Americans keep from us!

  3. And give into their pressure tactic? Never! Be strong Becks! We here in the North are just as deserving of great tv networks (is Lifetime really "great"?)

    Also, Dr Oz taught me today that humans should ingest no more than 6 teaspoons of refined sugars a day...and presently, the average American ingests 22! Methinks we might be better off without the temptation of such a wide variety of treats...or we'd be as wide as those down south.

    Also, Fluff is available at an IGA very close to you.,,,if you're interested.

    Also ALSO, sugar is now apparently considered as bad for your heart and blood pressure as salt.

    Woah - I'm totally guest-blogging here. Apologies.