Everyone knows I am the Serena Wii-lliams of Nintendo Wii tennis.
I have mastered the super serve, and am undefeated (except when I play Andrew - he's the wii Federer).
The secret to wii winning is simple. Grunt a lot, and create that air whizzing sound when your remote sails past your head. If you are not sweating and the people around you are not at risk for getting seriously hurt, then you are not on your best wii game.
If anyone would like to challenge my skills please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can get a tournament going. Loser buys winner Popeye Cigarettes and salted licorice.
These wii rules however do not translate very well to real tennis, which I found out shortly after I started playing a couple of years ago. In real tennis, that whole air-whizzing-people-ducking-your-racket-in-fear is generally frowned upon. Opponents also prefer if you do a silent in-your-own-head Watusi dance rather than a victory howl and gloat moonwalk around the court when you win. I can abide by these rules with strangers, but still throw humility to the wind when playing with Nelson.
In real tennis you must also find a place to store all your balls. They don't magically appear when you need them as they do on the wii, so I stuff as many as I can down the front of my lycra shirt and hope to distract my opponents with my dozens of lady looking lumps. Today I learned that I can stuff at least 2 in my shorts as well if I wear spandex.
This is not all I learned in tennis today - I am currently taking intermediate lessons every Thursday with Jen and Amelia - and we were taught a new technique. In addition to a new ball hiding spot in my spandex, in today's lesson I learned about the 'second serve' (I dunno if this is the real serve name or just the 'second serve' our teacher has taught us). When you change your grip on the racket you can give some side spin to the ball when you hit it, forcing it to fall pretty much in the right spot. That's the concept anyways...I have many grunts and sweatbeads to go before I can perfect the 'second serve.'
fun fact***Serena's serve has clocked in at 129 MPH. But I could still make her eat wii crow.
ps. I have got to get me an aerodynamic skirt. Just look at it flutter!