i heart learning

i heart learning

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

I'm a drug lord

I am a bubble girl.

Living in a bubble world. Or I should be anyway.
Everything I touch sends me on an allergy trip. Like an unfortunate and skewed case of the midas touch. My allergies are horrific, and if you try to swap itchy-scratchy stories with me, I will find a way to one-up you.

My list of no no's include but are not exclusive to anchovies, hay, ragweed, apples, dust, peaches, cats but shhhh about that, housework, even grass and trees. It is very good I live downtown where such things as grass and trees are scarce. I once allergy tested positive for beef - and the doctor couldn't even believe it. "No, no," he said "that can't be right. No one is allergic to beef - that test is for fun." But sure enough, bubble becs and beef are not the best of buds.

So to survive the world outside my becca bubble I live in antihistamine heaven.
Boxes of Reactin, Aerius, Counteract, benadryl and my new favorite Singulair stand like soldiers on my middle bathroom shelf, ready for the battle against poofy eyes, itch and redbeard - (When I have an allergic itch it manifests itself as a handlebar rash around my mouth. Like an inverted cheery kool-aid moustache.)


It seems everyone in the world has terrific allergies these days. So I make sure my condo guests are well taken care of when they come for a visit.

Just today I offered Matt a pill when he mentioned stellabijou might give him the wheezies. At the same as he was partaking in my antihistamine buffet, he taught me something new. Matt informed me that professional athletes often use antihistamines as performance enhancers, to pump them up before they are expected to get all athletey.

The pseudoephedrine found in antihistamines gives atheletes a boost. Like a steroid I suppose. Apparently it was very popular amongst hockey players until they banned it in the NHL and started drug testing for it a few years back.

I had never heard of this. Nor have I ever felt more energetic when taking the pills. Maybe my body has built up a tolerance to pseudoephedrine like it has to my hair conditioner.

It's not everyday we civilians can do something hockey players are not allowed to, and I choose to revel in my newfound status as a drug lord.

Na na na na poo poo! I can antihistamine it up and Carey Price can't! How do you like them allergic-reaction-causing apples?


  1. 'bubble becs and beef are not the best of buds' - I love the alliteration!

  2. Technically, you are not a 'drug lord'....you are a 'drug lady'.

  3. But a Drug Lord sounds so much more regal!

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Do a total antifungal antiyeast no sugar diet for a few months. I used to get something like this until I followed an anti candida plan. The candida allowed food into my bloodstream and fooled my body into thinking it was being invaded by whatever I ate. Hence you start reacting to everything. Doesnt cost anything and is risk free so give it a shot. x