Ok my people.
I have learned something tonight about myself. Having power over a comedian's happiness level is way to much pressure for me.
Before I even got to the comedy club, I was nervous. Not because I would be on stage, but because my performance as an audience member could seriously make or break the comedian's night. It was amateur night - where newbie comedian's put their dreams to make people laugh to the test. I knew if no laughs escaped my lips I could have crushed dreams tonight.
I didn't wanna be a dream crusher.
Or a heckler.
Or a person who gets pleasure from comedic suicide.
But I went with Leslie. And she didn't mind:
Leslie: 'i hate this guy!'
'okay this guy is the worst so far'
'why is he breathing like a 500 pound man?;
'I'm gonna rate this guy a 0 and circle it' (there was a rating system - even worse!)
'Oh man, this guy is so awkward.'
'I don't understand. I don't get it.'
'why are people laughing at this?'
'okay this guy is sort of good looking'
'time to finish up...'
Leslie is a very no-nonsense and tell-it-like-it-is kind of gal. She lacks the 'sympathy gene,' and can put into not-so-eloquent words what most of us are thinking. She's the one to tell an old man that his breath stinks or that he doesn't leave enough tip (she's a bartender). I've seen her tell customers not to sit at her bar because 'you are too annoying!'
The comedians did bite the big one (cross my fingers that the heavy breather never checks this blog), but I couldn't bear watching them bomb and thinking about their feelings. The stress of it all had my perma-smile and courtesy chuckle out in full swing.
Thank goodness Leslie got me guffawing all night - because even if that laughter wasn't aimed at the amateurs per se, I feel I disguised it enough to let them think I thought they were fantastic. It was quite the mental work-out.
I really cannot ever go to amateur comedy night again.
But I do need to start hanging out with Leslie more.